Rationalizing my life choices.

I guess one way to get good at something is to do it a thousand times. I’m not really sure what I wanna be good at though. I’m realizing more and more that I’m a generalist. I like to do as much as I can. You might call it an identity crisis or you might call it overly ambitious but I call it fun. Every single day that I wake up I seem to ask myself, “James you sly son of a bitch, what do you feel like getting into today?” I usually answer with a clear and resounding, “Whatever.” This is not a passive response but rather a recognition of the fact that I am really down for whatever. If I get a phone call and am asked to go to work that is what I’ll do. If I’m not working and I have an offer to go adventure somewhere i’ve never been you’d be right to suspect that I’m going adventuring. But my desire to learn and explore as many facets of the human condition goes far beyond just the possible activities one can do in a day or night: it extends also to academic disciplines. To learn and grow as a person in whatever capacity I can manage is my ultimate goal. But I’d like to point out that I don’t chase these opportunities.

For me life is and for the last few months has been all about the cliche of living in the moment. I’m not getting ahead and planning my next six moves or anything crazy like that. Some of you might say, “Well see here now James, you planned a trip to South America on a motorcycle and backed out, and then you said you were going to head north to Alaska and now seemingly without reason you’re on your way back to Colorado. You have plans young man you just never commit to them.” But of course I’d disagree. I have ideas of grandeur, things I’d like to do and places I’d like to see. And yes I plan something of these things out in order to make trips happen or help ideas reach fruition. But what I don’t do is become attached to these goals. When it became clear to me that I needed to stay stateside to be near my family these last five months that what I did. When I realized that I wanted to go back to school I dropped my AK plans in favor of heading back to Colorado.

There is a flow to what I do. It seems jumpy and chaotic sometimes and honestly it can be. But it’s also a natural progression. With no attachment to these plans of mine I’m able to float from one thing to the next and be perfectly content and stoked about whatever I have in front of me. Am I ever disappointed by the outcome of a situation? Honestly I can’t tell you the last time I was. Everything I do is so worth my time. Every mistake a lesson learned. This is not so much a practiced mind set but more or less the way that I am. It can seem a little disorganized but it’s working for me.